FRONT DESK

[frontdesk]

"Hello, Front Desk speaking?"

Comments

[outfauxed]

Surely you have a name of your own.

[frontdesk]

...It's Nana. Do you need help with something?

[outfauxed]

Considerate of you to ask.

More considerate still would be providing a door that functions in any capacity.

[aididitmyway]

I want to make a noise complaint.

[frontdesk]

Oh! Oh.

Oh right! What's the disturbance?

[aididitmyway]

The people next to me are trying to break down the walls and doors and—I don't feel safe! They're really loud and violent!

[bodyofevidence]

Hi, I was wondering how long we can expect to be locked in, and how we can expect to be compensated for this inconvenience.

This isn't a really promising start to our stay, you know?

[frontdesk]

[in the most "im so tired" voice:]

The current ETA is about another 30 minutes, I appreciate your patience. I am currently speaking with my team to figure what the best compensation will be, but we do promise to make sure that this won't happen again. Probably.

[bodyofevidence]

Well, that's not so bad.

For a second I thought I'd have to go full-Karen on you guys.

...what do you mean "probably?"

[quitherdayjob]

This isn't really relevant until you let us out, but do you stock condoms?

[She is using Haysaca-kun voice. Just because.]

1/2

[frontdesk]

The current ETA is about another 30 minutes, I appreciate your pat-

[frontdesk]

Oh, my apologies! Yes! We carry them in the shop down by the lobby! They are free of charge.

[warpweft]

If I'm gonna be stuck in my room, I demand more companionship than this dating app. I want a game on my phone where I can forge parasocial relationships with .pngs of hot people and also an RNG system just this side of wholly predatory that fills me with despair every time I don't manage to get the .pngs I really want.

[frontdesk]

We-

Are you okay?

[warpweft]

Oi.

The stay of my dreams doesn't involve me being judged.

[secondbornsun]

Oi. I want room service. Where's your menu.

[frontdesk]

We do provide breakfast every morning in the lobby.

[secondbornsun]

D'you just eat once a day? I'm a growing boy, I gotta have more than just breakfast.

[aididitmyway]

Hey, I wanna complain about the drinks! No one said they'd do random stuff!

We need more mints.

[frontdesk]

…










Were they unsatisfactory?

[survivaltricks]

[his voice is distant as he yells into Ruby's phone]

And better quality coffee beans!

[auguryofinnocence]

I don't see how this is meant to be a vacation or remotely enjoyable without any demons or monsters to kill. Do something about it.

[frontdesk]

...

Do you want me to offer up myself?

[fujimaru]

Hi! I was just wondering--do you guys have a courtyard or anything, that people can get into? Just to go outside for a little bit?

[frontdesk]

At the moment, there is a bit of a limit to how far from the hotel everyone can go . . . but you know, perhaps when we finish renovating the last floor, we can give it more of an open air feeling . . .